Who the hell can understand you?

But, you're still awesome...

Giving up...

I know I've been away lately, but I haven't had anything to tell you.. Until now.

Do you know that situation when you work in the same place with one person and just say to her "good morning" or "good afternoon", but because of one conversation about something casual and random you start to pay attention to that person? Well, that happened to me... And that couldn't have happened at worst timing...

Do you know that awkward moment when you realize it's too late to spend the time you want and need with that other person and tell and show her how you feel? Shitty isn't it?

Today I'm leaving this place, I'll leave my friends, my colleagues.. And I'll leave her. Sure, it isn't too far away, but c'mon, we all know how this is going to end... I wish I have met (really met) her earlier, or I wish I didn't like her that much that makes me to be awake this time at night...

I feel an heart ache right now, like it is reduced to nothing.. How can I leave her behind in the morning?

It's been only a few moments with her, but I can assure you that I'll remember those moments forever. I still smile when I remember the day we went to watch a concert in a tiny and welcoming bar, singing those songs with her. But at that time I already knew I was condemned to failure, so I just enjoyed the moment...

Her personallity is the best and worst of her, I understood that today. Without knowing it at all, she took all hope from me. So, I did nothing and preserved her friendship and her trust...

Listening to Jason Mraz singing "I Won't Give Up", gives me strenght to move on and try it back, even if I'm far away from her. I'm afraid to wake up tomorrow and feel the pain, now I'm drowsy and maybe a bit drunk so I can't feel the pain inside me. The thing is, I'll feel it tomorrow...

I could spend all night here writing, and writing about her... But there's no point..

I have to say that, that one girl got right into my heart.. And I can't get her out of my head or my heart...

That's it for now...

I'm alive

It's been a while since I last posted here for the last times.. So many things have changed since that last post.. Anyway, my personal crusade to "find" the girl if my dream is not over, it has only started.. My life is supposed to change in a few days, at least, I hope it does. I need this damn change, it's something I really need. I'll keep this blog updated more often... Well, this post is only to say that: I'M FUCKING ALIVE!! (unfortunately for some people, life's a bitch isn't it? Muaha ;) )

The decision...

Hey hey...

How's everything? Fine, I bet..

By the way, I've just made a decision.. Time to get this coward attitude behind..


It's time to move on...

Happiness..

Today's post will be short...

I just want to say to you all the following:

I'm fuckin HAPPY!! :D


And that's all for tonight folks.

The present simple...

So... Here I am... This time I won't talk (for talking, I mean writing) about the past, but I'm talking about the present. I know, this is about of how I met the girl of my dreams, but hey, this is my blog, so, today I'll tell you about the present, about I feel right now. C'mon, it's 4:36am, and there's no one to talk to about this or bother, so I'll write about it. Amazing huh?

Like I said, it's 4:36am.. I mean, now it's 4:38am, and I feel all this feeling is getting serious inside of me.

"How do you know that, oh mighty John Doe?!", I bet you're asking that... Well, since I left work about 3 hours ago, and after a long trip I did today, instead of being asleep, I'm listening to lame music and thinking of how it would be great to be with her at this very moment, I must choose between one of these 3 options, which are:

1. I'm drunk
2. I have a sleep disorder
3. I'm starting to fall really in love

Since I don't get drunk with one beer and a glass of a very nice scotch and I've never had a sleeping disorder or whatsoever, I guess I only have one option left (and for you, smart guys, if you didn't notice it, it's option 3) .

I'm starting to feel weird (a nice weird ahah) when I think of her, when someone talks to me about her I can't hide a smile and I start to blush...  


At the same time I feel weird, I feel great too. Maybe just because I know I'll be with her tomorrow, even if it's just for a few minutes. But I know that for that few minutes I'll be right next to her, hearing her voice, watching her smiling to me and laughing with her.. It's amazing how a few minutes in 24h can make a guy's day..

Call me crazy, old fashioned, call me whatever you want.. But I'm the guy who's happy just by seeing that girl smiling to me, even if it's only for a few minutes everyday...

It smells like an introduction...

I'll start my life story by telling you all that I'm Portuguese. So you might be asking: "Why are you, oh Great John Doe, writing in English instead of writing in Portuguese?", and my answer is that I feel like writing in English.. All this will sound better in english, trust me guys.

So let's get to the point..

All this starts at October 10th 2011. I was unemployed at home, I've started looking for a job all over the country, I've sent about 80 CV's. At this time, I was interested in a girl that lived far away from my city, so I was hoping for a job right in her city, but I got screwed, I only was called for jobs interviews at Lisbon. So, I resigned myself (hey hey, I didn't give up on trying to go close to her, it's just about the crisis) and went to the jobs interviews.

At this time, I couldn't even imagine that one of these interviews would take me to where I am today and where the girl of my dreams is.

You can say it's destiny, or even luck.. I don't know what really is but I'm glad it happened.

Guys, I can tell you, from the moment I saw her, all that I felt for the other girl, just fell down to earth..

Now that you've read the introduction carefully and with all of your attention, you must wait for the continuation.

To be continued..

This is only starting :)