Giving up...

I know I've been away lately, but I haven't had anything to tell you.. Until now.

Do you know that situation when you work in the same place with one person and just say to her "good morning" or "good afternoon", but because of one conversation about something casual and random you start to pay attention to that person? Well, that happened to me... And that couldn't have happened at worst timing...

Do you know that awkward moment when you realize it's too late to spend the time you want and need with that other person and tell and show her how you feel? Shitty isn't it?

Today I'm leaving this place, I'll leave my friends, my colleagues.. And I'll leave her. Sure, it isn't too far away, but c'mon, we all know how this is going to end... I wish I have met (really met) her earlier, or I wish I didn't like her that much that makes me to be awake this time at night...

I feel an heart ache right now, like it is reduced to nothing.. How can I leave her behind in the morning?

It's been only a few moments with her, but I can assure you that I'll remember those moments forever. I still smile when I remember the day we went to watch a concert in a tiny and welcoming bar, singing those songs with her. But at that time I already knew I was condemned to failure, so I just enjoyed the moment...

Her personallity is the best and worst of her, I understood that today. Without knowing it at all, she took all hope from me. So, I did nothing and preserved her friendship and her trust...

Listening to Jason Mraz singing "I Won't Give Up", gives me strenght to move on and try it back, even if I'm far away from her. I'm afraid to wake up tomorrow and feel the pain, now I'm drowsy and maybe a bit drunk so I can't feel the pain inside me. The thing is, I'll feel it tomorrow...

I could spend all night here writing, and writing about her... But there's no point..

I have to say that, that one girl got right into my heart.. And I can't get her out of my head or my heart...

That's it for now...